For neurodivergent young people, making sense of our emotions can be particularly challenging. Historically, autistic people were often dubbed as “emotionless” or “lacking empathy”.
However, we now know that actually the opposite is true. Neurodivergent young people (on average) actually have stronger emotional responses and levels of empathy than the general population.
Instead, it is that we often have difficulty naming and expressing the emotion in a way other people can relate to it, when we are neurodivergent.
We don’t find it difficult to feel emotions, just find it hard to put a name to the emotion, or display it “correctly” on our face. Recently, the term “alexithymia” has been coined for describing this difficulty. This is why it is crucial we spend time supporting neurodivergent young people in developing emotional literacy.
Use Visual Aids for Communication - Visual supports, such as emotion charts or feelings cards, can be incredibly helpful in translating abstract emotions into something concrete that we can name and communicate.
These tools often include faces that show different emotional expressions, along with words that describe feelings like "happy," "angry," "frustrated," or "sad." You could try encouraging your young person to look at these charts and match their current feelings to one of the images. Over time, this can help build a connection between the emotions we feel and the names society puts on each of them. For younger children, attaching each emotion to a colour can be helpful (for example they could decide anger is red).
The book “The Colour Monster” by Anna Llenas is a particularly good resource for distinguishing between different emotions, and is used in many primary schools and SEN provisions.
Connect Emotions to Physical Sensations - Autistic children may have difficulty identifying emotional states because emotions often manifest in physical ways (like tightness in the chest, stomach aches, or feeling hot). Helping them identify how emotions feel in their body can be a useful way to bridge the gap.
Teach them to notice these sensations and connect them with emotional terms. “When you feel your stomach tighten, that might be your body telling you that you're feeling anxious.” You could use our colour monster sheet (download link below) to help a young person describe how each of the emotions feels to them.
Model and Validate Emotions - Adults have developed a tendency to hide their emotions from children and young people, such as not letting children see when they are upset, but children and teens learn a lot by observing the people around them. By modelling how you identify and express your emotions, you provide a roadmap for them.
Be sure to validate their feelings, even if they are challenging or seem out of proportion. Validation helps them feel understood and safe to express themselves while attempting to “shut down” their feelings often adds to self-doubt and confusion.
Download this free resource to help you discuss emotions with your young person:
About Equal Potential CIC
Equal Potential are a non-profit organisation based in Farnborough, Hampshire.
We believe that early and ongoing support for neurodivergent young people that set up young people for success, both while in education and while in the early stages of their career, are vital to creating more equal opportunities. Whether through mentoring, maths & English tuition, functional skills, social and skill-based clubs or career advice, we are dedicated to helping young people reach their full potential by providing support at the earliest possible stage.
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